40 pounds down :)

Today I am down 40 pounds, and am a size 16 from a size 22. I have a long way to go to my goal, but am reveling in my success right now! I started at 245 and am now 205. I feel ready to take on the next phase of my weight loss!

Hello!

So, since my last post, a lot has taken place! We went to Disney World FINALLY for Dylan's 3rd birthday in October and it was amazing. He had a blast, and it was a dream trip. He has progressed tremendously since he was diagnosed with ASD back in July of 2012, it's hard to believe it's almost 2 years since then! He goes to a special needs preschool, but is in a high functioning class, and I was told that in the future he will not need a special needs school. He talks up a storm, in fact his language and vocabulary is sometimes better than mine! He is very social, and likes to play with other children. I cannot be any prouder of him, and those hours upon hours of at home therapy were SO important and worth it for his development! Me, on the other hand, I went on a downward spiral for a long time afterward. I put myself on the backburner completely while focusing all of my attention on my son. I had a huge wake up call this past Winter. I got very, very sick because of being so unhealthy and run down. I kept getting sick each week with different things until I finally ended up with the flu for the first time in my life combined with bronchitis at the same time. Then, I attended a wellness event at work, where I found out my blood pressure was high for the first time ever, and my cholesterol was borderline high. I was also having extreme anxiety and kept having panic attacks due to horrible stress at work. All of this led me to make a big change back in March. I just couldn't keep on the same path anymore. I was very fearful for my future. So I began studying the best foods I can eat for my HEALTH, not just to lose weight. In the past, all of my weight loss "journeys" were only about my weight. This time, I wanted to do something about my health and knew the weight would come off naturally if I ate right. So in about 10 weeks I have lost 32 pounds, and got my cholesterol back in check. I found out that I am severely Vitamin D deficient, so I have been on prescription supplements and am noticing a difference. I went from a size 24 to a size 16, and am getting smaller with each week that passes. My blood pressure is much better, however it still is kind of high which doesn't make sense to me since I cut out sodium tremendously, but my doctor said I need a total lifestyle change which is not easy right now since my job has turned into a nightmare and has become a very toxic atmosphere. But, that leads to the next big change... We are moving to Orlando! All of J's siblings, her mother and her daughter & family moved there within the last two years. We are very, very ready for a change and want to give Dylan a better life. Plus, being right next to Disney will be a dream come true for me! The only thing that will be hard for me is leaving my sisters, but I will do whatever I can to see them as often as I can. I am so ready to start anew, and I am very happy that I am getting my health in check in order to enjoy it!

So, I have another blog that I've written on for a long time, since 2009. These days, I blog over there because it focuses on my family life, especially my son. Feel free to check it out if you would like updates on us. I mainly blog about him over there because it doesn't feel right to always write about him on my weight loss blog. Writing over there is giving me a valuable outlet and helps me process everything going on. I actually feel very vulnerable sharing it, but you guys have gotten to know me well enough to share it.

You can click HERE for Mina's Musings.

I'm alive {and well!}

Hi guys!

I realized it's been a month since my last post, so I wanted to write a quick update. I'm actually doing really well with my diet, I have been exercising every day, and I am feeling a lot better about myself. Waking up early to do it, if I can't do it later in the day. I feel very centered, and focused. But the thing is, I haven't been wanting to blog about it. I was tired of repeating the same thing each time I refocused myself. I was annoying myself, and became over it. I just wanted to do the work, and stop talking about it. I wanted to take myself seriously again.

At this point, I just want to get it done. So I am. The weight is dropping off again, like the old days. I may not blog here again for a while, but I will check back in soon!

Hugs to you guys xoxo

I had to work through my lunch break yesterday because I had to leave at 4pm for my monthly family meeting with Dylan’s therapists, so I didn’t get to do my lunch time walk. However, I was NOT about to let that get me off my game! After the meeting, the speech therapy, and cooking dinner, I put Dylan in his stroller and took a jog/walk for an hour at 8:30pm. The dog needed a walk, so I took her with us. Chloe kept wanting to sniff at everything, and bark/lunge at anything that moved, but I still got my sweat on even though we looked like quite a sight LOL. I really wanted to do a workout DVD, but Dylan wanted my attention and the dog needed to pee, so I killed three birds with one stone. I even practiced with Dylan his sounds during the walk. Moms know how to multi-task! LOL

I weighed 210 this morning, and I’m firmly back on track.

So, I’ve taken down the Disney pics, changed my blog description, and changed my ticker. I am starting fresh, here and now. I created a new goal for myself yesterday, and that is to lose 40 pounds by January 1^st. At this point, I don’t care about the original goals I had this January, or the trip we were supposed to have. I’m looking ahead to the future, and I want MORE, damn it. I want more for myself than what has taken place this summer. I’m not going to go over & over why I let myself get so derailed these past few months. You guys know more about me than even my some of my closest friends & family. You know what’s been going on, I don’t need to explain. I worked HARD to get to where I got, and I haven't felt that good in years! I am not going to throw it all away!!

I’m not a failure, and I do not give up. I may FUCK up, but I don’t ever GIVE up. That is not in me, and if you’ve gotten to know me through this blog, than you know that. I may be a sucker for Disney; into glitter, pink, and all things girly; obsessed with my son…..but inside all of this is a strong woman who can do what she sets out to do.

I’m pissed at myself, I’m angry for letting it happen, and I am not letting it continue.

I weighed in at 213.5 yesterday, put a stop to all the crap right then and there, and got back to work. I weighed 212 this morning, and I am going to weigh less than 210 by Monday. I'm not turning back.

It is beautiful in Queens this morning! The air is nice and crisp, and I needed a blanket last night, love it. This weekend was really nice. We were going to go to a park fair with JC’s daughter, granddaughter and mom on Saturday, but they cancelled it so we ended up going to Luna Park in Coney Island. They really cleaned up Coney Island compared to how it was when I was growing up, but I kind of missed the real Coney. Anyway, the kids had a blast, Dylan LOVED the train and boat ride. The boat ride operator even gave him a free ride when it was over. Yesterday we chilled in the house all morning and then left the house to do laundry and food shopping in the afternoon. Dylan didn’t take a nap all day, so for the first time in forever he fell asleep at 7:30 on the way home, and slept through the night. JC and I took advantage, and watched Big Brother (our favorite show, don’t judge LOL) and the movie What to Expect When You’re Expecting (we bought a great bootleg copy).

Dylan is becoming more communicative with me in his own way. He can’t verbalize requests, but now he pulls me in the direction of something he wants and then points towards it. I like it, because it feels good that he can show me what he wants. He is truly blossoming thanks to the therapies. He loves my attention now, and he actually looks for me to be involved in his play. Previously, I would try to be, but it felt like he didn’t want that. Now, he doesn’t like it if I’m focused on something else other than him LOL. I love it. I feel like I can open the door to his world. Another thing is his memory is astounding. I can label a whole bunch of things in a book that he’s never seen before, one time, and when I say the name of each item, he will point to them all correctly. It’s fascinating to see how much he knows, since he can’t really speak. He still says “Ellie” and “Mama”, can now say “That” and can say “Moo” (not perfectly, but in his own way) when we say “The cow says:”. Little by little, he’s getting there!

My sister told me for my birthday in November, she is going to give me an interesting gift. She said not fun, but she thinks it will be useful. She said she is going to pay for me to take the teacher’s assistant exam in February, and she will also buy me the book to study for it. I never thought of becoming a teacher’s assistant, but the more I think about it, the more I like the idea. It would give me something else to fall back on, and I would love to get out of doing typical office work. I’m getting excited to take the test, but now I feel a lot of pressure to pass since it was a gift! LOL Anyway, she is a teacher, so maybe she can suggest avenues to get my foot in the door at the Board of Ed. Maybe I can assist in a special needs class, I would like that.

So, I packed an apple, an orange, some carrot sticks, and a pepper turkey and provolone with mustard on a whole grain sandwich thin for work. Drinking water and herbal tea all day, and looking forward to my fast walk at lunch time. I’m getting back into that healthy frame of mind, and it feels amazing. Things are starting to feel good again for me. JC’s mom has calmed down a lot after JC talked to her. Dylan is doing great. JC and I are in a good place. Things are looking up.