The child psychologist left a little while ago. My son was diagnosed with mild/moderate Autism. While he's napping, my heart is breaking. Before there was the possibility in my mind that maybe they were wrong. Nope, they weren't wrong. He will need 20 hours of ABA/Speech/OT therapy a week, and will have to attend their special preschool. My baby, not even two years old yet.
I feel like I'm grieving for the future I had hoped for my son. He's still my same beautiful boy, the love of my life, but I don't have a crystal ball, I can't predict the future. Will he ever talk? Will he go to a regular school some day? Will he have friends, get a job, get married, have a family??
I will do whatever I can to help him now and always. But my heart is breaking for the struggles he is bound to endure in his life.
Our lives are about to get turned upside down. I have to find a way to be there for him for his therapies, and I will eventually have to leave my full time job at some point. It's clear my son is going to need me more than ever to be there 100%. It's not clear yet how I will manage this since we both need to work, but if it means working nights and weekends, than I will.
If anyone has ANY feedback about Autism, PLEASE share it!
I have no personal experience at all with it, but I know just from casual observance that there are tons of resources for both educational and social support and of course, a lot of research going on. All I can offer is that I know you guys are a strong, loving family so you're already that much ahead of the game, Mina. Godspeed.
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher I have taught many autistic students. Their future depends on the severity of the child's autism and what kind of help you get them early on. It sounds like you are getting resources for him. That is so very important. Believe me - you can tell who used the help and who didn't. Don't give up your dreams for your son yet. My cousin is moderate autistic. Although she does have some problems, she is married with a child of her own. Every autistic child is different. You don't know what the future will bring, and your son may surprise you. Just make sure you have the right people helping him.
ReplyDeleteThis is NOT a death sentence. Set your sights on happy and healthy and take it from there. People with autism marry, live full lives, enjoy themselves, and love as deeply as you or I.
ReplyDeleteOh Mina. I wish I could take your hurt away. Please keep in mind that this is not the worst thing that could happen. I myself do not know anyone that has been personally affected by Autism, but there is so much information out there. I wish I could offer you more than that. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteYou, my friend, have been blessed with uniqueness. Your life is only changed from what you expected, what society taught you to expect, to a world that's unfamiliar. My 6 year old son was diagnosed with Autism just before turning 3. Even though I knew what he had, the tears still came when the words came out of the psychologist's mouth. In the last three years though, my family has become a part of an elite group of people. A group of people that form a safety net of knowledge and support. Start with ASK.COM, About Special Kids. And, Mina, welcome to the group of exceptional mothers who learn to go the distance.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any insight for you except to echo what others have already said. There is a ton of info and research out there, you guys are being proactive by getting him evaluated and taking advantage of the resources that are available. Don't think so far into the future. No one knows what will happen. Take things as they come.
ReplyDeleteMina - I'm so sorry to hear that you got the diagnosis. Just hearing the word 'autism'can be so scary and overwhelming. You have every right to feel grief stricken and afraid and unsure of what the future is to hold.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin is autistic, he just turned 26 years old. If you'd like, I can give you my aunts e-mail address and you can ask her questions/talk with her. I know she would be more than willing to chat with you about it.
Like the others have said, you are setting Dylan up for success because of all the services he is getting at such a young age! He may be in a special pre-school now, but with all the intensive therapy he will be getting, he could very well end up mainstreamed by the time grade school rolls around. He's already so far ahead of the game and that is a great, great thing.
I wish I could do more to help you - thoughts & prayers, friend.
Much love, friend. I don't have any experience with autism but I do know this - none of us get the crystal ball. I worry all the time about what ifs. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm missing my present. God knew what he was doing, he knew you'd give Dylan the best love and care that anyone could.
ReplyDeleteMy 6 year old nephew has autism and was diagnosed shortly after his 2nd birthday. I'm so sorry. It is a hard life for the whole family. But your darling boy will always be your darling boy. It's just you'll have some hard days. If you aren't already, make an appt for YOU to talk to someone. This is life changing. Take care of YOU. It is normal to be devestated for awhile, and overwhelmed. You've been hit by a truck, figuratively. Take some time to wrap your head around it and just feel what you feel.
ReplyDeleteALso Whatever the costs, do every single therapy they recommend for your son. ALL of them. Do more than that if you can afford it. Your insurance will probably suck, since most of them don't cover autism therapies at all. But they are so, so so worth it. It makes a world of difference. And you can't wait till later, you have to do it now while he's young. It is a lot of money, but there are grants out there, that will help pay the cost.
Get involved in Autism Speaks. See if there is a support group in your area. You can do this. Many many hugs. It will be ok. It will.
Also...my nephew starts 2nd grade this year. In a regular public school. He splits his day between regular classes and special ed classes. He's a very smart little boy and a real love bug with his family. With the therapies they do now, there is a way way better chance your little man will go to "regular" school too!!!
ReplyDeleteI know you are sad and I completly understand how you feel that way. It is a change you were not expecting when you peeed on a stick and it was positive. As you said he is still your little boy, the love of your life. They only real change is a label being placed on him, but that is not the end of his life's path. It is just a twist in the road. My friend's son is autisic and the first summer I met him, he was like an island unto himself. He was fine playing by himself and not interacting with anyone around him. The next summer they were back for a visit and his mom had found another type of play therapy for him and he was a totally changed personalitly. He was outgoing, interested in others and was wonderful playing with Baylor in their pool. Look for the blessings in being in a large city with hundreds of resources for your son. You fill find the key that fits. As you said it is mild to moderate and his life is there ahead of him with his wonderful Mommies behind him the whole way.
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