Life is a whirlwind!

Thank you for your support yesterday! I know I may write about my mom too much, but it helps to put my feelings down. I don’t really talk about it with family or friends, so this is my outlet. Thanks for being there for me. I love you! ;)

So we had an impromptu staff meeting yesterday in which we were told that our department is being moved to our Manhattan locations, and will be split up into two separate departments and buildings. However, they need one person to handle the residential aspect in Queens and that person will be moved to one of our other departments with different management. I decided to stay in Queens because the commute is too much when I have to worry about getting home to the baby and picking him up. I’m just glad I have the opportunity to stay here, I’ve worked plenty times in the city and the commute can be rough from where I live because the subway is not close. I will pretty much have a new job in about a month, I will also have to merge with other responsibilities with the new department. I am not TOO nervous because I know the people I will be working with by face, I’ve been with the company for 7 years, but it’s still a major change! I am excited to start something new.

I was jumping for joy last night because I fit into my size 16 jeans from 5 years ago. Due to vanity sizing, they are the equivalent of size 14 today. I was spinning around in front of JC all happy. I couldn’t have imagined 3 months ago that I would be able to squeeze my big booty into those jeans in just 3 months! I can’t wait to see the progress I will have in another 3 months! I am so freaking close to getting out of the 200’s, I weighed in at 203.5 this morning. Sooooo close!

Last night was a little rough. I am almost due for TOM, so I am more emotional as it is, then I saw a commercial which reminded me of my mom which had me crying quietly into my pillow until one in the morning. Next month will be a year that she’s gone, and I am starting to dread that day, but I have to remind myself that it is just another day and nothing bad will happen. I am looking forward to our cancer walk, which is on May 6th. I think that day will be a little cathartic because we will be doing something to honor her memory. It’s just surreal sometimes that she’s gone. I still get moments where I’m about to pick up the phone to call her. We used to talk at least twice a day, usually more. She was my best friend. I loved spending time with her, even as a teenager we would do things together every weekend. Because my father is not in my life (by choice and necessity unfortunately), I feel kind of lost. I love being a mom, but I wish I had a parent to worry over me sometimes. To be concerned about my day-to-day. To be there for my son. To celebrate my successes, and help bring me back up when times are hard. Like, I was an adult before she passed away, but I still felt like a kid around her. I know things could be MUCH worse, and I am very fortunate to have had the time I had with my mom. A huge piece of my heart went with her the day she passed away, and that can never be replaced. Things will never go back to normal, so I’ve had to find a new normal, and I think I’ve been pretty successful with that. I do believe in Heaven, and I do believe I will see her again.

The major lesson I learned is to appreciate the life we have while we have a chance to, and to appreciate the ones we love. It’s sounds cliché, and Hallmark-ish, but it’s very true. Tell them you love them. A lot. I tell my family and friends that all the time, I even tell you guys I love you! Take time to have fun, especially spontaneously. Those are the best times, and make the best memories. Life doesn’t seem short when we are caught up in problems and the daily grind, but it is. Getting healthy and fit is the best gift you can give yourself and your family! :)

Today makes three months since the inception of my blog, and all that came along with it, and I was rewarded during my lunch walk. A man (slightly sketchy with only two teeth) gave me a big thumbs up and even mimicked my walking. Hahaha, of course there were tons of people around and of course I turned bright red, but I loved it! I’m serious though, it made my day!

I told you my walks are getting interesting! LOL

Thanks for the feedback on the edamame! It is brand new to me, and is so yumm that I knew there had to be a little catch to it! So the consensus is enjoy with moderation. Got it!

I'm walking on sunshine :)

The weather in NYC has been divine these past few days. It is so refreshing to have nice breezes with warm sunshine. I felt so good this morning driving with my windows open, listening to salsa music. I know the weather has been unpredictable so I am relishing it while I can! My walks are so much more enjoyable, in comparison to the middle of January!

Question: What's your opinion on edamame? My co-worker buys some at a Japanese place nearby, steamed and sprinkled with sea salt. I've never had it before, but she has been sharing it with me. I LOVE it! What do you think about it?

:)

Hey guys! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend! I had a great one. The shower was beautiful; my sister babysat Dylan so JC and I could enjoy ourselves there. We haven’t spent any time alone without him since he was born, a year and a half! After that, we spent time in Staten Island visiting my other sister at South Beach, which was nice. Yesterday was incredibly busy, went to 9am church service, ran errands, spent some time with JC’s daughter and granddaughter, went food shopping, cleaned.

I’m happy to say I lost 3.5 pounds this week! I’m in first place in the challenge this week! Don’t know how long I can hold because I have some fierce competition (Beth! LOL), but I like reaching it for the first time.

My goal this week is to rev up my exercise intensity! You guys are kicking ass with running, CrossFit, etc., gotta push myself more too!

It's a nice feeling.

It’s almost three months since I’ve started this blog, and the changes I’ve made are immeasurable. I noticed another one this morning. I put on a cute black and white lace top, and JC told me she loved that shirt, and maybe I should wear it to this fancy baby shower I’m going to on Saturday instead of today (it’s for a former co-worker, and a couple of current co-workers will be there). I thought she had a good point, and put on a different top instead. Then it hit me – I wasn’t worried about what to wear on Saturday, I haven’t given it a thought until this morning. Before, I would have obsessed for a month prior over what would possibly look good on me, and become depressed because I realized I didn’t really have any options. Just cover myself up, and try my best.

It is so FREEING to not worry about what I will wear. I have lots of cute clothes that fit me right now. I’m far from my goal weight, but I still feel good about myself again. I’m looking forward to this shower at a beautiful place (Giando on the Water in Brooklyn overlooking the East River), and looking forward to socializing. I’m not dreading it because of the way I look, or how embarrassed I am of myself. I have a lot more to go on this weight loss path, but I’m enjoying myself along the way.

I guess I still got it!

My walks are starting to become quite interesting. Yesterday, I kept passing these two old Russian men. After the fourth time passing them, one of them signaled me over to them, and asked me in his thick accent why I was walking, so I said I was doing laps for exercise. So he asked “Can I walk with you?” but I could have sworn he was being flirtatious, and I said “I think I walk too fast” and laughed. Then he said, “You look niceeeeee” and leered at me, while the other old man looked me up and down. I had to laugh at the situation, in my head I’m like, “Did these 80 year old men just hit on me????”…Hahahaha. It felt kind of creepy, but I had to laugh.

I’m down a pound this morning, so happy to be back on track!! Whew.