Most of the time, I am a pretty optimistic person. I believe I can eventually overcome anything thrown my way. I believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. But sometimes, things catch up to me and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I kinda felt that way yesterday, for no obvious reason except just a lot on my mind about Dylan. When I was driving home from work, I just cried and let out my fears to God. Yes, I talk to God. Yes, I know he doesn’t talk back LOL, but I think He does listen in.
I know I talk about God a lot on my blog, but my faith in God has been the thing that has gotten me through a lot in my life, and to not acknowledge that would be wrong of me. I am not ashamed or embarrassed of it.
When Dylan and I got home, he did a few things he’s never done before. I usually carry him into our place when we are coming because he tries to run away and I am carrying all our bags so I get scared, but this time I let him walk. He actually knew where we lived and walked up the steps. Without me prompting him or directing him. I’ve never actually pointed out to him where we live, but he knew anyway. Later on, he let me play with him with his pirate ship. He didn’t actually play with me, but he didn’t run away to do something else and he joined in. Then I started cleaning up some toys in one of his baskets, he helped me and when I asked him to put the basket away (not thinking he would even know what I was asking because I never asked him before), he put it on the shelf where it belongs! Then, he got so happy when I put on Thomas & Friends on the TV, he ran up to give me a hug. Then, he actually sat with me while I pointed out items in a picture book and quietly listened while I showed each picture. Then, I let him come on my bed to jump around, which I tend not to do because he has a little meltdown when I try to take him off, but after a little while I said “Okay, do you want a bath now?” and he just looked at me and let me take him off the bed and than ran to the bathroom ahead of me. Even though he couldn’t communicate to me, it shows me just how much he does comprehend, and once he (hopefully) learns to talk, he will progress so much!
Now, all of these things probably sound really minor and simple if you have kids, but the fact that Dylan having autism did so many things he’s never done before, and did it all in one night was so remarkable to me. I was sooooooooo proud of my little man. I started my day feeling sad and out of sorts, and ended my day feeling joyful and hopeful. It may be just a coincidence, but something tells me the big man upstairs had a hand in showing me just how much potential Dylan really does have.