Friday, May 4, 2012

Lighter

Yesterday, my MIL told me something while I was leaving her house to bring home the baby. She said, “You look lighter”. So I said, “I hope so!” and laughed. But she explained further in her Spanglish that I look like I just feel lighter and happier. She summed it up right there. I do, I feel a million times better than I did back in January. I ALMOST forget how bad I felt back then, in a strange way it feels like a distant memory. It’s only been 4 months, so it’s not a distant memory of course, but I changed my entire life by taking those first steps in January.

In January, I wore a size 24. My heels hurt when I would wake up from plantar fasciitis. I would literally hobble out of bed. I weighed 249. I didn’t want to make plans with anyone out of shame and embarrassment from being the biggest I have ever been. At 32 years old, I felt 62 years old.

I started this blog on January 17th, and that same day was when I began my real changes. I started walking during lunch, and have never missed one day. I walked during the coldest days of winter, in the rain, if I was sick, if I was tired. I started out a little slow, and was out of breath quite frequently. As time passed, I was able to speed walk and I never feel out of breath. I walk 36 blocks each day during my lunch break.

I also pack my food for work each day. I always have my healthy meals and snacks available. Like the saying goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Now, I wear a size 16, soon to be 14 I’m sure. I don’t feel pain in my feet when I wake up anymore. I just get up and go. I don’t hesitate to make social plans, I don’t think twice about it. I love trying new fitness related things. I feel like a 32 year old again, I feel pretty and girlie. I love fitting into clothes that I haven’t worn in 5 years.

I’m not saying any of this to brag, because NOTHING I have done is outrageous or even that hard. I have not mastered the art of weight loss and getting healthy, I am the farthest thing from an expert, and I definitely do NOT have all the answers. I have so much more to learn, and so much more to go. I still have a little lingering fear that I will fall off track completely out of nowhere.  I’d say the hardest part is keeping up my mojo during the days that I don’t feel like it, but I read a quote that said something like “When you don’t have enough motivation, you need to have determination”. I would always try to remember that during those days to keep fighting. I’m not close to my goal weight, not at all, but I’m learning that this HAS to become a change for life. If not, I will be right back to square one. So I am learning to find changes I can live with forever, not just until I get to my goal. I never want to see myself like I was four months ago. Never. If I have to fight for the rest of my life, than I will! The alternative is far, far worse!

On Christmas day, sitting at the table with my sister, her boyfriend and my cousin, I said to them: “2012 is the year I will lose this weight. You heard it here first, people”. I believed in what I was saying, because I couldn’t envision continuing the rest of my life out of shape, obese and on the way to getting sick. I needed it to be true.

This is only the beginning for me, I still have quite a ways to go before I get to my goal. However, I don’t stress about that because these changes have become part of me. This new me is slowlyyyy becoming the real me. Do you know what I mean?

6 comments:

  1. Hell girl you earned some bragging rights! I know exactly what you mean. :)

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  2. Seriously, it was like you are writing my story. I know exactly how you feel. Your doing awesome!!!

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  3. I sure do know what you mean! :) Great post!!!

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  4. I do know what you mean. You are doing great!

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  5. It's ok to brag - you've worked hard & you've earned it!

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  6. One of my most favorite things about your blog is that you find the enjoyment in the journey. It's not all about the end (even though it is!) but you know what I mean.

    Lighter & brighter, baby! Keep it up!

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