I'm sorry for being MIA for a few days. I spontaneously took off Thursday, and I had a day off already planned for Friday. I found out a few things at my job that really upset me, and I needed a break.
I have been overwhelmingly sad this weekend. I love Easter and love celebrating it with my family, but every single thing about this time and holiday is reminding me of my mom. Easter was the last holiday we all spent together, and the last time she saw Dylan. At the point, we knew she had cancer, but didn't know what type or stage, so we all were fragile that day. She was in my dreams last night, but in a sad way. I know this is a phase of grief, and it will pass until the next one, so I am just trying to ride it out. We have a fun day planned today, so hopefully it will help me keep my mind occupied.
My weigh in for the challenge was not good, I stayed the same. I know it's because I haven't been tracking on MFP, drinking all my water, and I've eaten some salty things these past three days. I'm ashamed to say my mind has not been on the challenge for Thursday, Friday or Saturday. With the thing I found out at work, dealing with my grief, and some other family stuff...it just feels like everything's hit me at once. I'm disappointed that I let myself lose my focus, extremely disappointed. I didn't go off the deep end, diet wise, but I just didn't put my all into it like I have been. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you with my post, but I wanted to be honest with you all because I can't just write about the good and not the bad.
However, I woke up a little more clear-minded, and realized that I can't let this snowball into falling off track completely. I've come too far, I've lost 40 pounds, and I have a lot more to lose. I know my mom is proud and wants me to continue to do well. I ate an apple as soon as I woke up, and poured myself a big glass of water. Despite it being Easter Sunday, I am going to do well today and get a good exercise session in. Mina is back in the game, I promise.
I hope you all have a beautiful Sunday and Easter if you celebrate! Love to you guys!!