Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Stronger

Sometimes I think of the path my life has taken this past decade, and it boggles my mind. I was a little bit chubby as a kid, but I lost all my weight in the summer of freshman year in high school. It was like a teen movie, I ended freshman year all awkward and chubby, not too many friends – then came back sophomore year a changed girl, 120 pounds, hair & makeup done, new wardrobe. I became a cheerleader, made lots of friends, had the time of my life in high school.

I started working at a gym in my teens as a receptionist, and by my early twenties I was a manager and a certified aerobics instructor. I worked out every single day, and I could run on the treadmill for an hour, no problem. I went dancing 3 nights a week. I did a 26 mile bike marathon, all 5 boroughs of NYC.

How the hell did I get from there to my highest weight of 249 in 2012?

I can’t blame it on one single thing. I went through the most tumultuous time of my life. So many HUGE life changes in one decade. Obviously I didn’t deal with it the right way, I stuffed my feelings away with food, and had little to no activity. But losing my mother at 50 years old shook me to my core, and forced me to re-evaluate what I want out of this life, and what my priorities are.

I’m starting to get a glimpse of the girl I used to be, the girl who loved to workout, the girl who enjoyed life as it is. I have grown tremendously and I will never be who I was back then, and that’s a good thing. I’m not as carefree and na├»ve, but I am strong. No matter what life throws my way, I can handle it. I have a confidence that I’ve never had before, you can only get that confidence by going through a shit load of stuff but coming out stronger for it. I care less what people think of me than I did back then. Maybe I didn’t “waste” a decade of my life, like I usually say.

5 comments:

  1. Wow, what a story you have.

    Your confidence just shines through with each post you write. It's so nice to read.

    And maybe you didn't waste a decade of your life. That's a great way of looking at.

    When you know better, you do better. :) Keep on, keepin on!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love that confidence that comes with age. When I was younger I always worried about what people thought of me.. now that I'm getting old and don't have to worry about people looking at me for my weight, I'm basically like, "Screw it!" lol. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think we need to learn from the past and then let it go and move forward. You are doing great and will continue to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mina, with every pound we shed, with every layer gone, the real & genuine person emerges. We can't do anything about the past now, we can only focus on what we're doing right this minute. You are lovely. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's great that you are finding yourself again :)! Good luck with everything!

    ReplyDelete